8/11/09

grey

Today is Reily's 12th b-day. Hard to believe. I get a bit sentimental every time it comes around. As much as I want to be "up" for it, I always find myself down. I know both of my kids are precious gifts from God. I am so grateful that He blessed my life with them. However, I get majorly overwhelmed when I think about the responsibility that comes with that. I know me. I'm not good enough. I ask God everyday to protect their hearts from me because I have a tendency to be selfish most of the time. I know I am modeling for them the concept of father and that they are probably drawing conclusions about their Heavenly Father through me. That nearly immobilizes me with feelings of inadequacy. This world is pulling on them and I'm supposed to keep them headed in the right direction? When I can hardly keep myself headed that way? I'm sure it's cliche' but it is so true. The more I learn, the less I know. I've come so far, yet I'm back at the beginning (sorry, cheesy). This journey of faith can be a strange thing at times.

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